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The Christie Bid — UPDATED 10/5/11

Posted by Anthony on September 29, 2011

New Jersey's fearless governor will not be running in this Presidential election.

I knew Chris Christie when he was a nobody.

Annually, New Jersey dumps nearly a thousand high school juniors on the campus of Rider University for an event called Boys State—a weeklong convention of leadership, politics, brotherhood, and female-lusting. Every day, the thousand-or-so boys would cram into one of Rider’s inappropriately small auditoriums to hear a presenter speak—typically a well-to-do New Jersey politician or statewide leader. One of the speakers for 2008 Boys State, which I attended, was the US Attorney for the District of New Jersey, a jovial but hardcore fellow by the name of Chris Christie.

Of course, no one had ever heard of him. (This is not to say that he hadn’t accomplished a lot or wasn’t an amazing person!) He gave a rousing speech of which the contents honestly elude me (and I wish I could remember), but I remember generally the Republicans in the audience (albeit the few there were) gave him a standing ovation. After his speech, his presenter joked, “Who knows…maybe he’ll be the next Governor of New Jersey!” Applause and laughter. Some chanting. It was clearly a joke. He likely had not even considered running, since he didn’t even announce his candidacy until January 2009. So, I think that he may have laughed heartily when the statement came up. None of the thousand hormonally-raging boys took it seriously, either.

But the joke came true, and on January 19, 2010 New Jersey found itself at the command of the Newark-born lawyer. He aspired to do what no New Jersey politician had ever dreamed of—take on the ballooning, gluttonous, wretched force known as the Teachers Union. Needless to say, he simultaneously made enemies with the 605 school districts in New Jersey. He then took on the wage corruption in the police force, in which officers could rack up gross sums for a little bit of overtime here and there and retire at a young age with full pension. He then made himself the enemy of nearly every officer in the state. But he didn’t stop there; he continually worked to do everything he could in his power to make New Jersey more efficient and less corrupt, and (most importantly) he seeks to bring in more revenue and increase the incentives to inhabit the Garden State.

“He’s unelectable!” jeer his opposition, of which there is much of in New Jersey. That may be true. He did infuriate police officers and teachers, which by conservative estimates make up approximately 99.98% of the state. [Note: by teachers I include the “school administrators” that make six figures and yet have never stepped foot in a classroom or even met a student.] The ardor with which many of these folks lash back is quite scary. And for the teachers, many are spreading this hatred to their students—future voters. But just because he’s unelectable in the state does not mean he’s unelectable on the national scale. In fact, there is much evidence to suggest he is extremely popular—he is already the chairperson-at-large of the Republican Governors Association and has fans in every state—notably Utah (which theoretically and theologically should be Romney territory) and California (where he is currently visiting upon the writing of this article).

I agree with his decision not to run. He has to finish the job he started in New Jersey before he could claim the experience required for President (although in recent years this experience requirement seems to have been waived).

Christie has decided not to pull a ‘Sarah Palin’ and fail to even finish his term. Palin lost all credibility (if she had any is another story) when she did that. Christie may have been the most powerful GOP force against Obama, but he still may not have won if he ran, due to lack of preparation and funding (the latter arguably more important). However, if he chooses (and I hope he does) to run in the 2016 election, he will be an extremely strong candidate—even despite whatever political changes and candidates spring up. But it would be cool to someday be able to say that some guy I saw speak in some little auditorium when I was seventeen became the 45th (or 46th!) President of the United States!

Anthony Longo is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences.

Posted in Miscellaneous, National News | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cornell Maps: Collegetown

Posted by Anthony on March 14, 2011

KEY:

1. Collegetown Bagels

Spendthrift liberals who aren’t from New Jersey or Downstate New York thriftily waste their parent’s money on “the best bagels ever.”

2. Schwartz Center for the Performing Arts

Acting. Enough said.

3. Aladdin’s Natural Eatery

Besides the fact it sells “natural food,” the main problem is that it’s called an “eatery” instead of a “restaurant.”

4. Kraftee’s

Nothing says “I’m a greedy capitalist” better than themed T-shirts.

5. Big Red Barber Shop

Besides its propensity for “ginger mess ups”, it’s only conservative every other month when Cornell Review writer Bo Jonica goes there.

6. The Nines

The only restaurant in a five block radius that doesn’t feature starving liberal artists writing novels on their Macbook Pros. (Macbooks Pro?)

7. The Four Seasons

Despite the name, it is not associated with New Jersey or its recent conservative surge in politics.

8. Stella’s

If you prefer the cafe side, it’s liberal. That’s it. If you actually go to the restaurant part and perhaps taste even taste a morsel of meat, then it’s conservative.

9. Stone Arch Bridge

Recently ruined by liberals with the erection of eight-foot fences. Nanny school?

by Anthony Longo and Tianye Liu

Posted in Cornell in Photos, Miscellaneous | Leave a Comment »

Cornell Maps: Liberal and Conservative Hotspots on Campus

Posted by Anthony on September 4, 2010

Our first humor page of the year highlights the red and blue zones on campus:

Posted in Campus Insiders | Leave a Comment »

 
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