Here’s an interesting excerpt from an article reviewing the new Heath brothers book Switch:

The book opens with a story from the Food & Brand Lab at Cornell University. Researchers set up at a movie theater and gave movie goers a free soft drink and bucket of popcorn—in exchange for them answering some questions about the concession stand at the end of the movie. Some of the moviegoers got a medium-size bucket of popcorn, and others got a huge tub. But here’s the kicker—both groups were given five-day-old popcorn that was so stale it squeaked. The questions at the concession stand were just a ruse—food researchers were studying how portion size influences eating.

And does it ever. People given the big tub ate 53% more of the practically inedible stuff than people given the medium bucket.

I’m pretty sure they could have carried out the same experiment at Okenshields using the regular food and different sized plates.

Photo adaptation by Oliver Renick

Ivy Room, the popular eatery located below Willard Straight Hall, has recently gone under some serious renovations.  Some of you may be asking why Ivy Room officials would do such a thing to the perfect cave of solace that is the IR.  In the (altered) words of Rick Ross, what’s their desire – is it paper? Or is it prejudice? Judging from Tuesday’s article in the Sun, it seems that there is more at play here than simple financial adjustments.

Apparently, in line with virtually all other changes on campus, the renovation reflected the waning budget of Cornell, and the less-than-frugal practices of dining areas on campus.  However, there is one quote about the new “Confusion” station that makes me raise an eyebrow:

C.U. Dining also looked at the demography of the incoming class and saw that there is a large Asian American contingent, spurring the creation of the Asian fusion station.

The pizza and grill menus “were not touched” Finan said, and although “there is a misconception that all the Mexican food is gone, it’s not.”

“Confusion” indeed! Am I the only person that finds that statement to be just a little bit presumptuous?!  So basically, dining officials are assuming that people will only consume food that lies in tandem with their race and geographic customs.  I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Asians scarfing down Philly cheese-steaks at Louie’s Lunch before or chomping into a Kaboom Chicken at Jack’s.  My next question is: was it just the Asian contingent that was reflected in the new dining options, or did they take other races into account? Well, the once-dominant burrito and spinner station are hidden, so apparently the Hispanic population must have gone down! Is that why the big-screen TV was moved? Has it been proven that Asians and Hispanics would rather stare at a view than a TV?

The move towards healthier food must also have demographic implications – 2013 must have a lot of vegetarians or skinny people. Nice! But, wait did I see an extra rack of MuscleMilk in the fridge as well? More jocks! Maybe we’ll win a football game this year!

Seriously, though, let’s check out the demographics from the classes of 2012 and 2013 to cross-check my predictions (I’ve made a chart for easy viewing and found my statistics from Cornell admissions):

Go figure – after all that, the Asian-American population has actually decreased! Now, I’ll be honest, I fancy Asian women, so this disturbs me.  What I find more disturbing, though, is the apparent lack of intelligence (or fact-checking) by the people over at CU Dining – it’s no wonder they are losing money.  If they did actually research their ulterior motive, they would have realized that the Caucasian population decreased, and the number of women, Hispanics, and African-Americans all increased!

This explains a few things, but also raises more questions.  At least it explains why the TV moved – now all those (fewer) obnoxious Nascar-watching Caucasians can pound their fists and down their Budweiser (Ivy Room has beer?) in an isolated location away from the more civilized folk.  But then these facts also raise the questions: why is all the Hispanic comida hidden in a corner?  And where is all the fried chicken?

Which brings me to my final question for C.U. Dining – what the hell is going on here? (pardon my French please).